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End of the Semester Blues

May 14, 2014

Dear Reader,

So I had to get up this morning much earlier than normal to get to my 8 o’clock exam.  Of course, since I used to get up at 5:30 to get to school on time when I lived in NYC, I suppose I shouldn’t complain, but it’s human nature.  I’m sleepy.

With the semester essentially wound down, this being my only exam, I’ve been feeling a bit blue.  I had a good thing going here, but I’m moving again this summer, so I’ll be saying goodbye to all of that.

I’ve been considering what I want to do when I get to Virginia.  I have three really solid options; I could try to go back into the public schools (since I have a valid IL teaching license, I can get a VA one pretty easily), I could keep looking for community college gigs (and adjuncting in the meantime), or I could apply to get a PhD from UVA in Charlottesville (which won’t be terribly far from where I’ll be living).

It’s an odd position for me to be in, this wavering about the future.  I’ve never done it before; I knew since I was in 8th grade I wanted to be an English teacher, and I did that successfully for almost a decade out of college.  Only upon getting to IL did I run into problems, and there I wasn’t wavering, either; I was scrambling to get whatever full time work I could find.

So this is the first time I’ve had several options laid out before me and it was fully within my power to choose.

My zealotry about being a public school teacher has been greatly diminished by my time outside the system.  You see, as a teacher, the good things never change; you interact with the students year in and year out, and that mentorship is what you derive your joy from.  But it seems the unpleasant stuff only keeps growing; the increase in monitoring, paperwork, and bureaucracy are slowly choking the field.  Topping that off is the feeling of betrayal and mistrust I developed after having excellent credentials but not getting a job out here.  So I don’t know.  It may not be for me any more.

But adjuncting was terrible: Terrible money, terrible hours, no sense of respect from the people whose institution you’re propping up with your labor.  I have no desire to get back into that, but since I applied for a job that I was exactly and perfectly suited for and didn’t even get a phone interview, I have concerns that I won’t be able to get full time CC work out there without adjuncting like I did here.  Blah.

And to be frank, the PhD route is somewhat of a pipe dream.  I could go for it, sure, but I won’t go into debt.  I’m not sure why I’m an anti-debt nut, but my wife and I got out of our undergrad, masters, and, in her case, PhD programs with zero debt, and I’m not going to start accruing it now.  So unless UVA wants to give me a free ride (which isn’t impossible, mind you; I have good GPAs, work history, and writing skills), I won’t likely be attending.

So all the options have pretty serious drawbacks, the largest of which that for me, a person who loves to plan, I can’t really make any plans, as I have no idea what the climate will be like out there.

So as I say quite often, only time will tell.

I don’t have much other game news.  It’s been a busy week, and I haven’t done much more than fool around pet battling.  I wasn’t able to do the Challenge Modes this past Sunday because I had my monthly D&D session (which went really well), but I plan on going back this Sunday, if I’m needed (or at least can be tolerated).


Stubborn (and blah)

One Comment leave one →
  1. Beshara permalink
    May 15, 2014 8:34 am

    I can understand having anxiety about the future when you’re not able to plan for it. I hope everything works out for you, whichever direction you go for.

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