For the first time in my life, I’m starting to understand why people argue that being a kid is better than being an adult. I still don’t agree, but at least I can start to fathom the reasoning behind it. I always told my students – my “kids” – that adults who said that didn’t remember what it was like to be a kid, to be powerless, and scared, and confused. But perhaps the adults who say that simply feel even more powerless, scared, and confused than they did as kids.
This reflection is largely precipitated by one terrible event amidst all the other anxiety-inducing situations in my life. The terrible event is that I had to make the decision to put my middle cat down recently. She’d been mine since she was a kitten, and I’d had her twelve years, so it was a hell of a thing to have to do. I won’t go into the details, but it had to be done. Still, a lot of callous people surrounding my wife and I did not understand why it affected us so much; it’s “just” a cat, after all, and besides, since we’re moving, it’ll make the move easier.
That, of course, compiled with having to get another new job, having to sell a house, having to plan a move, and it being the end of the semester when all the work’s coming due has really ruined my week.
I’ve spent a lot of time since my cat’s death playing FTL and WoW just to keep myself occupied. Perhaps it’s “not dealing with it” – I don’t know – but that’s what keeps me from dwelling on my loss. It was with all of this weighing on me yesterday that I had a de ja vu moment in LFD, when two goons from the same server and guild became hostile to my buddy and I in an instance and eventually kicked us.
This has happened before, though I’m happy to say that those of you who (perhaps rightly) felt I was to blame for the last one will find it impossible to justify the jerks’ behavior this time.
I usually avoid LFD like the plague, but I’m trying to get my buddy to 60, and by chance I actually had a prot warrior who’s the same level as my buddy happened to be when I noticed this prot warrior existed. So I figured I’d help him get faster queues, and, since I was a tank and wouldn’t be alone, I probably wouldn’t run into problems. Ah, the hubris.
To be fair, we did several dungeons over two days and had zero problems. At this level, I can almost keep myself alive against trash with victory rush, and my dps is as good as any two actual dps players’, so I chain pull pretty rapidly to keep moving as fast as possible. If a healer asks me to slow down, I do; I respect the other players, but the only healer who’s asked me to slow down changed his mind after a few “normal” pulls and said to speed back up.
In this dungeon, Dire Maul: Gordok Commons, the healer was doing a terrible job at first; I did a double pull and almost died; I’m not sure I got a heal at all, to be honest, but I popped my CDs and was fine. I didn’t complain; if I took him by surprise moving so quickly, that’s my fault, not his, but I did slow down. But then after a few pulls the healer complained I was going too slow and called it “snoresville.” Okay, so I sped back up. But then the dps (not my buddy) started pulling extra groups on top of my chain pulling, and, even with all my aoe cooldowns, I was having a hard time keeping all the mobs on me. My buddy died; his dps is the second (behind me) and he has a lot of AoE, as well, so it stands to reason. I mass rezzed him the first time, and we continued.
But it kept happening. I’d chain pull two groups, then start moving to a third, but a fourth and fifth would show up from a dps pulling. My buddy would die. Occasionally, one of the other dps would die. So I stopped chain pulling, but still the dps were pulling more than I could handle. The second “room” in Gordok Commons, which has, I’d guess, 10 groups in it, we did all at once. Of course my buddy died again, and we damn near wiped, but we didn’t. I asked the dps to stop pulling, and the healer concurred.
So we just rezzed and moved on, with no further complaints, as it was still going quickly.
The dps kept pulling, though, but not to the same extent; of course the rooms after that second one have far less pulls overall. My buddy kept dying again and again, and eventually the healer didn’t rez him. This is an old, long instance with a long run back, and he’d been rezzing, so I asked the healer to rez him. There was no response. I tried a mass rez, but it failed due to my buddy still having the debuff.
Then the abuse started. “Nice try, dumbass,” the healer said. “He’s got the debuff.”
“Okay, well, would you rez him, then?”
“No. He dies too much.”
Oh jesus. Here we go. I pointed out that he was only dying because the dps were pulling more than I could tank, which they were doing because he asked for more pulls.
“That’s not my problem. I didn’t tell the dps to pull.”
So he wasn’t going to be reasonable. On top of that one of the two other dps started in with real hostility, calling me and my buddy dumbasses repeatedly, quoting Blizz role descriptions saying it wasn’t the healer’s job to rez (which goes to show how stupid Blizzard is for leaving that part of the description out), and a few more choice racial slurs that I won’t repeat here. I checked, and sure enough, the healer and the abusive dps were in the same guild. Wonderful.
While all this was going on, my buddy had released and started to run back in, but the other dps, likely the “extra puller,” was still dead and was demanding a rez. The two jerks were being hostile to him, too, saying that no one cared about him or his rez and that he should just stay dead.
And then I got removed from the group.
Three things really baffle me about all of this. First, I thought if you queued with someone you needed a unanimous vote (4 of 4) to kick someone. My buddy didn’t vote to kick me, obviously, so apparently that’s not true. So “unanimous” is 3 now, if the other 2 queue together? If 3 people queue together and the other 2 in the group also queue together, can the 3 just kick the 2? That’s stupidly designed, then.
Second, my fucking vote to kick is still on a four hour cooldown. I haven’t done an LFD or voted to kick anyone in probably more than a year (though clearly I tried to kick one of them, which is how I know). That is not an exaggeration; I haven’t done dungeons in a long time, and I wasn’t really playing WoW at all before that, so there’s just been no opportunity for me to use my vote to kick. But it’s still on a goddamn four hour cooldown.
Lastly, why the hell would the third dps vote to kick me? I wasn’t being belligerent to him; the other two were. I had used my mass rez on him when he needed a rez, but couldn’t that time since he had the debuff. I clearly and without any doubt was not the problem this time. But still, I got removed.
Sometimes I hate WoW. Its raw fucking injustice is just more than I can handle at times, and the complete and total powerlessness of wronged players to seek retribution on bad people, truly bad people, is just more than I can bear.
Sure, I wrote a ticket about it. I got back a form letter basically telling me to use the simpler report function. No thanks; it doesn’t adequately encompass the actual problem; there’s no “I got kicked from a group by hostile players refusing to cooperate with the group” option.
I also sent an in-game mail to their guildmaster in case he’s the kind that cares about how his members behave, but he’s probably not. Either nothing will come of this (which is most likely true) or I won’t ever know what happens, so either way it’s no good to me.
So I’m left powerless to respond, scared to do LFD and have another encounter like that, and confused about why on earth what happened happened.
It won’t stop me from playing WoW, of course. I’m clearly and addict, knowingly doing something that’s bad for me and justifying it for whatever reason I can dig up. For god’s sake, I pay money to give assholes access to me so they can abuse me.
It won’t stop me from LFD, either, since mathematically right now I’m still doing better than worse.
But it certainly wasn’t a kick I needed when I was already down.
So, Bubbleosèven and Geñius of Exodar, thanks for being just the kind of absolute dicks that ruin the WoW community for everyone, and ruin my day in particular, a day that I didn’t think could get any worse.
Stubborn (and ruined)