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Breaking the Silence

May 24, 2011

Dear Reader,

It’s been nearly a week since my last post.  I was overcome with a day of bad news last Thursday and spent the weekend distracting myself, just playing games to keep my mind off things.  I received another career gut-punch, you see.  It seems I will not be returning to my private school part-time job next year.  While the principal was kind and direct, explaining that there were no complaints about my performance and that I was a very valued employee, it seems a “friend of the school” (big donor) who had a child who went there is retiring from the public school sector in the area, and they’ve decided to give her my job.  Just like that, I’m out the door.

I’ve never been fired before.  I would have liked to have done something to deserve it, honestly (and I may have done a few things worthy of getting fired in New York when it came to going toe-to-toe with the imbecile principal there); at least then I could say I was standing up for X or refusing to give in to Y instead of just being in the wrong job at the wrong time.  Without going into any grimy detail, this puts my wife and I into a very tight spot from which I have about two months to find a way out of.  I’ve been sending out a ton of applications, just like I did when I first got here and got no responses, but we’ll see if this time’s different.  Only time will tell.

On a more WoW-ish note, I have several different small pieces of news and discussion.  First off, I healed my first dungeon on Stubborn since Cata was released.  I was really unhappy with how they changed druid healing, so I took a long break, playing my paladin instead.  After gearing him for raiding, I went back to Stubborn and leveled and geared feral.  I’m just not a dpser, though I was doing about 12k in a dungeon with no luck of the draw buff.  The next dungeon, though (Stonecore) I was down to 8k WITH a 10% buff.  I simply don’t understand.  I did exactly the same thing in both dungeons and went down about 5k (with the buff factored in).  It makes no sense to me at all, which is why I can’t dps.

Frustrated, I set up my healing gear and spec, got a c0uple of old guildies from Red Branch to participate in the experiment (thanks to both of you, though of course they don’t read the blog).  One tanked on his DK and one dps’d like God when he’s pissed off (17k in Grim Batol on a warrior).  Since my gear was “good enough” and I do have experience healing, we went into  heroic mode.  I won’t lie; there were some hairy moments.  My gear’s not top-notch, and while the DK tank’s gear was good, it’s… well… a DK tank.  I never lost the tank, though I did clench my butt muscles on a few pulls.  I lost the warrior repeatedly due to not being able to efficiently manage multiple high-damage healing targets just yet (I’m understandably a little rusty) but presto-chango B-rez took care of those situations.  We finished without a wipe, so I was very happy.  It was the best partial PuG I’d done in a long, long time.

Then I went to ZA with my wife, two buddies, and ONE PuG, and it was – well, to be fair, it was fine until the end.  We downed bird boss in one try, wiped on the pull before bear, but then straight cleared until the last boss.  Then things got ugly.  We wiped OVER and OVER.  I was tanking this on my paladin, whose gear’s okay (350 ilevel or so) but not top-notch by any means.  My wife was healing – and this was her FIRST dungeon after not playing for about 2 months.  The one PuG had been a teensy bit annoying, but in a friendly, enthusiastic way up until this point, and his dps was good.  When we started to have trouble, he had some input, but it was redundant to my buddy’s input.  We pulled, of course, the “hard” combo – lynx and Dhawk – and my wife just couldn’t keep me up during the lynx phase OR couldn’t keep everyone else up to survive the opening AOE in the dhawk phase.

After about 3 tries we found a pattern that worked between her and me blowing cooldowns.  However, the PuG had gotten increasingly condescending and nasty.  I wanted to kick him, but I was trying to show patience and forgiveness and all that “nice” crap and just let it slide; we were all upset by the wipes, so why shouldn’t he be?  He didn’t have to be a jerk about it, but he was obviously a kid, so… fine.  Take a deep breath and suck it up.

It took a few more wipes, the PuG talked more and MORE about what we were doing wrong.  I tried to explain that our problem was in the execution, not the theory, but that fell on deaf or dumb ears.  When we finally downed the guy, the PuG rolled need on tanking plate pants, which of course I truly needed, and began to berate us about how bad we all were.  He gloated that we could have easily kicked him but didn’t so now he was going to take our loot.  There’s being a jerk, you see, but then there’s gloating about not being punished for being a jerk and being MORE of a jerk about it, and honestly it reaffirmed why I don’t want to play WoW anymore, really.  Not that aspect of it, at any rate.  I by chance won the plate pants roll, dropped group, and said goodnight.  It had taken a lot out of me.  ONE bad PuG had taken a lot out of me.

There’s more to complicate this.  My wife and I have met another gaming couple in the area who also play WoW.  We get together from time to time and play board and card games and talk WoW.  They’re on another server, though, and are allies (which I couldn’t care less about, frankly).  My wife and I talked about what to do, but it’s madness to start characters on a third server while we’re still active on two others.  However, on one server there’s no guild to speak of at all.  On the other there’s a guild I feel no connection with, but I’m not sure whether it’s me or them.  I know for sure that my buddies aren’t going to reroll or pay to transfer again after we just did.  However, this couple is a present, persistent (in that it’s not on-and-0ff), real-world connection to WoW, which is stronger than long-distance connections.  We still want to play with our buddies in NY, though.  So it’s basically an impossible situation.

And another one that I’ve been avoiding.  I bought Terraria because it was 10 bucks and has good reviews.  I don’t really get the no-direction games, though, and now that I’ve built a little underground hovel to protect myself, I don’t really know what to do.  I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed (the first one, I know, I’m like 5 years late) which has been enjoyable if sometimes frustrating in the pickpocket mechanics.  I’ve been playing Darkspore with my wife (a lot of fun if you like that kind of mindless D2 game).  I’ve been playing Borderlands.

Mostly I’ve been trying to distract myself from the vast gulf in front of me if I don’t get a job.  I’ve tried hard to find work, but I’ve just been politely ignored.  I don’t know if it’s because I don’t know anyone around here, or if it’s because I’m from New York City, or what.  My resumé is freaking amazing, honestly, for the kind of work I do; there’s just been no interest.  I can’t force them to call me for an interview. The one interview for a full-time job I went on I didn’t get but was told, when I politely asked what I could do to improve my interviewing skills, that I had done perfectly; it was just that the other candidate did a little better.

I feel fucked, honestly.  I’ve been gut-punched twice, almost back to back, and it’s made me rather spiteful about it all.  I’ve done nothing wrong, been top-notch at performance, never taken a day off, always been on time, etc etc etc to no end, and been fucked twice.

Ah well.  QQ more.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (who has nothing glib to say about himself today)

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 24, 2011 10:59 am

    Oow, that just sucks. I wish you all the best luck in finding a new job quickly.

  2. May 24, 2011 12:10 pm

    Wow, that’s bad if I ever saw it. I’m even pretty sure doing something like that (randomly kicking people) is illegal in sweden. I really wish you luck on finding a new (and fun) job!

  3. May 25, 2011 3:01 am

    Really sorry to hear about the job situation! Best of luck in your search *zen hugs*

  4. Martin permalink
    May 25, 2011 4:36 am

    Best of luck in your search

  5. May 25, 2011 9:59 pm

    I’m really sorry to hear about your job. I intended to quote something from Dragonlance but I couldnt find the quote as it is in English (I have the book in Spanish).
    In Spanish is “No existe el desastre, solamente la oportunidad”, wich would translate to something like, “There no such thing as disaster, only opportunity”, is something gnomes say.
    Dont Lose Heart and Best of Luck.

  6. May 26, 2011 12:16 pm

    Now I wondered why my reading list had be rather low as of late.

    First about your WoW friend (RL) situation. Maybe the new Real ID premium feature which is incoming may be an answer? Though I’m sure you know all about that.

    Second of all, I am really sad to hear about your current situation. From what I have read, I can base an opinion that what you say is true (Relating to what a good candidate you are and so on). I always say to myself, and have been trained, that if you work hard and be persistent you will get what you deserve. However, it’s times like this that really make the world seem so unfair. Though, what would really set you above the rest, is if you (and I am sure you will) work through this tough time.

    Ever thought about private tuition? Or maybe online?!

    Chin up,

    – Jamin1993

    (P.S. Keep writing!)

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