I have a bold proposal to make, but I believe it will come from an unpreviously predicted direction.  First, the proposal:

No MMO will ever be as successful as WoW.

Immediately, many of you will balk at such an absolute.  Hundreds of reasons have been cited by others, from unique gameplay (which it really didn’t have) to cutting edge graphics (which it didn’t really have), to a vast depth of lore (which it did and still does have, but so do many other games, like LotRO), but none of these are my claims.  Mine have more to do with our participation bandwidth and a sustainable engagement economy.

Both of these terms come again from McGonigal.  I know, I know; you thought we were done discussing her when my last semester ended.  However, it struck me while I was writing my recent Juggling epistle that there’s been a fundamental change in my own play habits, and after asking around, the play habits of a lot of people in my generation.

My logic (based upon McGonigal’s terms) goes like this.  We have a limited amount of effort we can share among our endeavors.  That’s our participation bandwidth, according to McG.  Once that limit is reached, something has to be dropped before a new project can be picked up.  When WoW appeared, there were relatively few successful games in the genre: Dark Age of Camelot, Ultima Online, and, of course, Everquest.  It was able to consolidate a lot of those players as their games were becoming stale and it provided much the same gameplay in a new, interesting, and enjoyable environment.

Now, though, new games release into a sea of MMOs, both big budget and small, both subscription and free to play.  Go check MMOhut if you don’t believe there’s a veritable industry just in making MMOs, and that’s not even all of them; MMORPG.com‘s list has others (but is less well kept up).  Every new MMO is struggling like a baby crocodile to survive without being killed by a predator, starved from lack of capability, or even devoured by its own parents or siblings.

We used to have a sustainable engagement economy in the MMO world.  We were able to play a single game for hours at a time without many distractions that provided a similar type of entertainment.  That’s no longer the case, and as a result, I truly believe no MMO will ever be as successful as WoW, not due to a lack of ingenuity, creativity, or design, and not due to anything particularly special about WoW, but simply because there’s too many obstacles out there to be able to pull so many people under a single umbrella.  In other words, the popularity of the genre has killed a hopeful future for the genre.

Malcolm Gladwell writes in Outliers, his book about success, that timing means a whole hell of a lot.  Most of the computer magnates of the day were all born at about the same time.  The same is true with rock icons and hockey players.  There’s patterns that we can’t usually perceive that drive success far beyond individual capability.  WoW came out at the exact right time into the exact right market and provided the exact right type of fun.  Then the window started to close.

I believe we will continue to be inundated with similar models of MMOs because that’s what’s been successful and it is, after all, a business.  When something new comes along, something like Star Wars’s “story based” gameplay (we’ll assume I agree for the sake of staying focused on this discussion), it won’t do as well as previous models did, so future games will not take into account its developments and will simply go their own way.  The more of these “half-successes” that exist, the more difficult it becomes to have another blockbuster simply due to the market being so flooded with choices.  Like being sunk into a pool of chocolate pudding, we’re drowning in something we love.

I haven’t a clue how to solve this problem, or if it is even solvable.  I think we’ll probably simply see more of the same for days on end until something truly new breaks through the mold and we’re given something that’s no longer an MMO at all, something new, something we couldn’t conceptualize at this point in the same way none of us could really conceptualize an MMO when we were playing Darkside of Xeen or Legacy: Realm of Terror (or even Syndicate, which were basically my three gateway computer video games. I just didn’t want to mention Syndicate again since I just had last time).  I can’t wait to see what that development is, and I look forward to the surprise we’ll have in store when it shows up.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and waiting)

As I mentioned a few correspondences ago, I have recently returned to WoW in a very limited fashion.  Since my departure was so spontaneous, having gone out of town for a week without access to WoW and simply not returning to it when I got home, I figured that I should really think about whether or not I wanted to go back.  I knew I had an itch for it, but that’s simply not a good enough reason (or so I think) to play.

I evaluated what I’d been doing that made me upset towards the game, which has been pretty well documented here, and I asked myself what I’d most enjoyed recently.  I came to a somewhat surprising answer: I enjoyed leveling my rogue, which I’d leveled almost exclusively through pvp.  I figured if I wanted to do something a little different, a bit of 85 pvp on my rogue would be a good way to test the waters.

As you may remember, I wrote about my leveling exploits on this toon before, but as you may also remember, I hit 83 and came to a standstill in the pvp leveling process.  The amount of experience, I felt, hadn’t increased enough to justify bgs as a timely leveling strategy.  I finished in PvE and retired the toon as part of my 10×85 challenge.  Upon dusting her off, I found she had no level 85 gear, no decent pvp gear, and very little money, so little, in fact, that after purchasing the level 85 gear I could afford based on her reputations and some new glyphs, she only had 92 gold left.

PvP does not generate money.  It doesn’t cost much money, either, but you do have to repair your weapons from use (I assume, since I occasionally repair and am only doing PvP).  As a result, I went ahead and finished the Ramkahen chain in Uldum (farming along the way) and the Dragonmaw chain in TH.  These netted me, along with farming, some slightly better gear and about 2000 bucks.  It was a start, at any rate.

I jumped into my first bg and took a look around.  I was the only person there under 100k health.  Naturally, I almost immediately started getting ripped on about it.  ”Everyone has to start somewhere.  I just dinged 85,” I lied.  It shut the bully up, at least, and we got on to business.  It was an EotS, and luckily (since my credibility was in the gutter), someone else suggested that we use the vastly-superior 3 base strategy and ignore the flag.  I agreed and followed to DR.  For once, a large enough team came and we won the day, capping 3 at the start.  Knowing I was useless in a fight beyond my lockdowns, I stayed behind to defend DR while the others went to harass MT.  I kept an eye out and kept communication going, mentioning when BE was undefended and had an incoming or when FR only had 1 person and needed some reinforcement.  We won – not in any way directly due to my communication but perhaps very slightly helped along by it.

I did a few more that first day, but the second I started feeling frustrated – and in those first days there were plenty of opportunities since I hit like I was wielding a pillowcase of big-eyed kittens – I stopped.  I learned quickly that my only real support was to lock down healers as much as possible, which was excellent practice for later since I intuitively knew where my stuns and kicks were.

The same pattern held for quite a while, but slowly but surely I was gearing up.  I’d steal some time for quests to earn a few bucks, buy ilevel 377 pvp gear off the AH when it was available and affordable, and slowly but surely accumulate honor.  My first purchases were the weapons; I assumed (perhaps erroneously; I don’t know) that as a rogue the most important thing about my gear was my damage; since I had a green uldum weapon and a blue level 83 from the AH, I knew they needed some work.  Those two upgrades did make a big difference; I was still tissue paper in leather armor, but  at least I could dish out a whooping before I went down.

I’m now in halfway respectable gear.  I made sure to get a win every day to get my conquest points, and I never played when I stared feeling frustrated.  It’s been a very casual affair, but now the only “bad” pieces of gear I have are my 333 blue rep pants and my old level 80 pvp trinket, which really does 5/8ths the job of the level 85 one (about 1/4 the resilience and the full stun break).  Those will be replaced shortly, the pants first.  I’ve found that the most value I can give bgs is often simply communicating things that others see but don’t say, not in a bossy way, but just to let people know.  In WSG, I’m frequently the first near the EFC if they make it to their base, and I let my team know whose guarding, where, and what I think we’ll need to get the flag.

Before this past weekend, my win rate from level 85 bgs was pretty good, probably at least 75%.  I usually play in the morning, so there’s honestly less kids on.  Up until this past weekend, I never had to play later than a bg or two in the morning.  This past weekend, though, was rough.  I’m not sure if it was luck, or poor play on my part, or poor teams, but both Saturday and Sunday were huge struggles to get a win.  I kept ending up in WSG (which was the call of arms for the weekend), and while I like that bg, there were a lot of nasty teams in there.  Three times in a row on Sunday my team had an early cap that we held until the end, then lost due to poor communication and a lack of defense.  I finally stole a win Sunday night in the same fashion but reverse, getting a flag cap in the last 60 seconds that won us the bg.  It was a heady, adrenaline filled moment, but mostly I was glad I could stop for the day.  I wasn’t going to play when frustrated, but I didn’t want to skip a “win-a-day,” either.  I wonder which would have won out in the PvP of my heart.

I still like EotS the most.  I still like AV the least.  I feel like I have the least control in such a big bg, and that no matter how well I do my job guarding a tower or trying to recap, my win’s too much in the hands of strangers.  Twin Peaks and Gilneas have both been tossed into the mix, but honestly I haven’t seen too much of either, and really they’re mostly repeats of other bgs, so there’s no much to add.  I do prefer AB to Gilneas; I prefer having to more carefully monitor more bases; I feel it’s more about thought, strategy, and communication than the simple rush to get the third base, which is all Gilneas feels like.  Like I said, though, I don’t have much experience there, so who knows?

I don’t know how long this will last, if at all.  Since I have no desire for an end game activity in mind (rateds in this case), I’m not sure once I get geared up if I’ll just keep having fun in bgs or if I’ll feel “done.”  I don’t think this is about the gear, but only time will tell.  I do know that of my one of my 6 games, Civ, has gone on the back-burner because my buddy is “done with it.”  Apparently once he got one of every type of victory (completely enabled by my screening him from harm in most of those games), he felt he’d “beaten the game” and there was “no more to do.”  Dealing with him can be very frustrating.

Looking to the future, there’s four games I’m very excited about adding to this mix.  I’m looking forward to Guild Wars 2, though my buddy says it’s only PvP (though I think he’s wrong), Syndicate (the remake looks great, and I’m really excited to see how it turns out), The Secret World (which just keeps looking better and better; if they deliver on half of the promises their making, I bet it’ll be very enjoyable), and, yes, D3, though that makes the bottom of the list by a long shot. I was never a huge fan of the Diablo series as it was terribly grindy, but who knows; it’ll give me an opportunity to play with a lot of my old friends who don’t play WoW, so we’ll see.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and forward-looking)

I got so much excellent feedback from the Couples and WoW series, that I just couldn’t resist making it more noticeable, particularly since so many of the comments expanded on or corrected some of my own ideas.

(1) To start, several commentators noted that many couples don’t fall into just one of these categories, that many are a mix of many and even shift between the archetypes based on other things going on outside of the game.  I totally agree; I think, in fact, to borrow from Bartle, that most couples are all  of the paradigms in a varying scale.  I’d probably put myself at 40% penguin, 25% angelfish (we can do separate things, but we both prefer doing things together), 20% crocs and plovers (which works in both directions; her healing is great, but I’m better at boss mechanics), 10% cats and dogs, 5% grizzlies, and 0% wolves.  As I have no test, dear reader (though making one might be fun), to measure the accuracy of this, we’ll each just have to break our own gaming-couple-selves down and trust.

(2) I also noted that virtually everyone wanted to be penguins.  The commentators who admitted to being angelfish and grizzlies (no one admitted to the other three) were in the vast minority.  I want to point out that while my writing may have made penguins look the best, there’s a cold distance at times to being a penguin, and the warm comfort of being an angelfish or a grizzly outweighs the loss of independence.  Penguins aren’t the best, just the easiest for GLs or RLs to deal with.

(3) Another commentator wisely pointed out that mistaken expectations due either to the couple putting no a false front or simply being in a different paradigm can lead to the most embarrassing situations.  In Sarah’s words,

In my experience, a couple’s (more than individuals) online personality can really be effected by what’s going on in private. Nothing like walking blindly into the middle a cat and dog fight between your penguin couple.

(4) Another commentator chimed in on how dangerous some of these archetypes can be and the relative helplessness of a GL or RL in the face of what could be serious real life issues.  He said,

Wow. it seems you assume the grizzly is going to answer for the spouse. If that’s the problem you have a bigger problem than archetypes just cut the cord and run… Generally in a healthy relationship you have less problems with spouses because there is another person to pull them back down out of game when they overreact.

The sad fact is that’s often the only option you really have for dealing with unhealthy gaming couples.  You can make attempts to calm things down between cats and dogs and come to an understanding with Grizzlies or Angelfish, but the reality of the situation is that you’re totally helpless in the face of the ravages of love, for good or bad.

(5) I feel obligated to point out a comment I got to the first post, from Me:

I always love when someone posts something similar to #5. It always seems to be the assumption that the man has to tell the woman in the relationship how to properly execute. You guys really need to learn to use the word “them” (or variation thereof) instead of she/her. I know it is not usually the norm, but I believe it is becoming more the case that many men are being dragged into an MMO because of their wives/girlfriends interest. I know my hubby wouldn’t have tried Rift at all if it weren’t for that fact that I was.

If I was inadvertently sexist in some of my language (I tried doubly hard not to be after this comment), I certainly didn’t mean to be; I speak from my own experiences which follow the older paradigm of gaming guy getting a girlfriend (now wife) to start gaming, and I fully acknowledge that such a scenario is not always the case, and is less and less so as time goes on.

(6) Another comment I got a couple of related to the definition of relationship.  Rightly so, it was pointed out to me that these “couples” don’t have to be romantically inclined; each of these patterns is just as valid when discussing brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, and friends.  None of the patterns is romance exclusive, which only broadens the opportunity to see these couples in action.  Go forth and seek!

(7) The last of the additions relates to a couple’s approach to finding a guild.  Askevar explained that

We’ve been up front with our guilds about what we’re looking for and what they can expect from us as placing a tank couple can be more than a little difficult. We’ve also been known to very occasionally fill in [one or the other of us] to make a raid happen so we don’t do absolutely everything together…

Frankly, I think this is the best option when couples are guild shopping.  Let them know in no uncertain terms what you’re looking for before you join so that you can avoid situations like this, from later in Askevar’s comment:

We had one GM who used one of those times that we helped out to make a raid happen as an excuse to attempt to force a “you will raid separately and like it” decree. Not surprisingly, we’re no longer there.

Ah, the follies of guild leadership, of the feelings of grandeur that only an Internet game can provide, and the crushing reality of the situation when you over extend yourself.

Thanks to all the commentators who added to the discussion.  Whether we agreed or disagreed, I appreciate every comment I get that adds to the broader debate.

For further reading, here are some links to excellent posts also on the topic:

Raiding as  Couple from My Perspective, by Askevar

The Other Side of the Couples Coin, by Fulguralis

Edit: Added another great post, On WoW Couples, by Karegina

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and happily Coupled)

So during my recent WoW break, a lot of time was freed up with little for me to do.  I was playing Star Wars, yes, but only when my whole social triad was available (why do I keep doing that?).  Skyrim went on sale in Steam, so I snatched that up.  Star Trek went Free to Play, which reignited my interest in the game (though I’m a lifetime subscriber, a lot of new features came out that intrigued me).  I convinced my buddy to give Civ a try, and we were playing that when my wife wasn’t available.  Also, my old college friend who recently bestowed his Magic: the Gathering knowledge upon us lured me in to playing MtG again.  I was juggling five games, which was no easy feat.

Then I got a little WoW lonely, and, to be honest, got chastised by Matticus in a comment left here to go let everyone in my guild know that I was all right.  So I reflected on what I’d had the most fun doing in WoW recently and came to the conclusion that my rogue had been my favorite character in recent months.  Since I leveled my rogue via PvP, I didn’t know the first thing about PvE specs and rotations, and since I just wanted to play around a bit, I didn’t want to do a ton of research.  Thus, I decided to do some PvP on my rogue.  I tossed a new game into my juggling to bring me up to six, and that’s where I currently stand.

Still, I have no more free time than I did when I used to just play WoW, so it’s been tough to figure out how to balance things.  I’ve made it my goal to win at least 1 bg a day in WoW.  I get on Star Trek every day to – if nothing else – rotate my duty officer assignments (it’s puzzlingly addictive).  I play – win or lose – at least one game of MtG every day.  Sometimes that’s all I have time for.  When I have more time on my own, I usually play Skyrim after doing all those other little fun tasks, but if other folks are available, we play Civ or SW depending on who can play.

I thought at first this would be impossibly distracting; that I could only appreciate a game if I really sank my teeth into it.  I’m like that with books and, when I watch them, TV series.  I don’t do things sporadically; I’ve always invest a lot of time into one activity I want to do and get it done.  This new pattern of play worried me at first, but I found myself after a few days very content with this approach.  It got me wondering.

Many of us have become a little tired of the MMO schedule.  That doesn’t mean you’re tired of MMOs in general or any particular MMO, but just that we’re tired of putting so much time in that we’re essentially working a part time (or full time, really) job.  It may not have bothered us directly, since we were achieving great heights, having fun with friends, and in general enjoying ourselves, but the outcome was that we started feeling a general malaise towards our one frenetic activity.  Dailies, farming, raid set up – all these activities are a means to an end, and the end is a few hours of really intense, enjoyable game play.  Still, the cost was so high that I got tired of it.

So for now I’m dabbling, to steal a word I saw recently (though as usual I don’t remember in whose blog).  I play until I get tired of it, then I stop.  I don’t “push through” or set long-term goals for achievement that require a ton of up-front work.  That doesn’t mean I don’t invest; I finished Uldum and Twilight Highlands on my rogue so I’d have some pocket money (the character had 92 gold when I first logged on; PvP leveling must be fixed to provide at least some money).  However, I didn’t approach the quests the way I used to, with the goal of finishing, of completing, of moving on.  I did a few quests til I didn’t want to any more, then I did a bg or two or went and played another game.

I think this represents the death of Should Be’s in my gaming life.  Really, I should be finishing Star Wars, and thus it should be upsetting that my buddy and my wife are never available at the same time.  But with so many other fun things to do, I simply don’t care which I’m doing.  I’m afloat in a sea of fun, and whether it’s swimming, sunbathing, diving to see the reefs, or playing a game of water polo, I’m enjoying my game time in a way I haven’t in … honestly I don’t know.  I was going to put years, but I wonder if it’s ever.

I believe I’ve spoken here before about the trade off between socialization and freedom.  What I’ve lost, of course, is the tight-knit community engagement that focusing on a single game can provide.  Instead, I’m a dilettante in many communities, coming and going as I please.  I do miss the strong social ties that raiding (or rateds, or anything of the like) can provide, but not that much.  I’ve starved myself of freedom for so long by being too engaged that I’m going the other way for a while.  That’s not to say one’s better than the other; like most sliding scales, a balance is probably the best, but to continue to mix metaphors, my pendulum’s swinging back from deep socialization and will be spending some time with freedom before finding a middle ground.

At any rate, to expand on what Klep said on his return from a year’s break from WoW, if you’re feeling a little burned out, go do something else for a while.  Do many things a little bit.  Dabble.  Dip your t0e in.  Find both what you’d forgotten and new things you didn’t know you’d missed.  There’s a hell of a lot of fun to be had out there, dear reader, so grab a net and start trying to capture some of it.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and happy)

Today, we resume and conclude our look at couples and WoW.  So far, we’ve discussed some tips on how to improve couple play in WoW and seen some various couple paradigms that exist in WoW.  Today, we’ll discuss how to deal with those couples as a guild or raid leader.

Cats and Dogs

This pattern is a very tricky and dangerous pattern to have to deal with, perhaps even more so than the more obvious Grizzlies.  In America, the most common cause of death for a police officer in the line of duty is investigating domestic disturbances.  In other words, more cops die on the job from trying to stop couples from fighting than from any other dangerous situation.

The rub is that any animosity the couple feels during the fight, real or playful, gets turned on any interloper into their domestic territory.  If you try to stop a couple fighting, they’ll often both turn on you as a common enemy, especially since their pattern is to fight and make up, and you stopping the fight allows the make up, but all the anger has to go somewhere.

As a result, my advice is not to interfere during a fight.  If the situation needs to be dealt with, you should speak to them – separately if possible – on a day before they’ve had an opportunity to get going.  Explain how the fights are distracting and destabilizing, and most importantly make clear what the consequences will be if they continue to publicly fight in a way that creates problems in the guild.  If they each can individually agree to work towards keeping their sparring private, then the next time a fight breaks out (and there most likely will be a next time), privately remind them individually of their  agreement in whispers, and if they stop, great!  Continue this until their fights disappear from the public view.  If they don’t stop, though, carry out your side of the job and dispense with discipline.  If you’re in a position to be dealing with this problem, then your loyalty is to the guild’s good health, not the couple.

Penguins

Penguins are really easy to deal with.  Penguins by nature don’t mind being separated in their tasks, so the best way to approach penguins is honestly and directly.  If you’ve only got one spot, just tell them that; don’t come up with excuses or stories to alleviate your guilt; they don’t mind parting for a few hours.

Wolves

Wolves, , like cats and dogs, can be tricky.  In fact, to be frank, if there’s a wolves couple in your guild and you’re in a leadership position, it’s probably you.  Wolves require a caretaker and an invalid, you see, and for there to be spots in a raid for the invalid, I can only assume that someone in power is giving them that spot.  Unfortunately, it’s entirely possible you’re the raid leader and it’s the guild leader’s partner who’s expected to be taken.  Not to be repetitive, but honesty and directness are the best way to go.

I’d speak to the caretaker first to air your concerns about the partner’s performance.  I’d be numbers-based and as objective as possible, but also firm in my stance.  Appeal to the community responsibility of the guild leader; make it about all the people in the raid, not just one, and hope that good nature can shine through the guild leader’s eyes.  Lastly, make it about strengthening the collective guild, not about replacing the weak link.  Hopefully the guild leader can speak to their partner and help them improve (which should be the goal here, not replacement).  Patience is a virtue in dealing with this couple because you don’t want to alienate anyone in power via their partner.

If time passes and nothing changes, you may want to speak to the partner about their situation.  If you feel the need in your hierarchy to invite the caretaker into the conversation, fine, but I’d advise against it; two on one is never a good place to start.  If you must bring both of them, ask to bring another officer who you know feels the same way you do to even the odds.  Remember to focus on improvement, not replacement, and ask the invalid what kind of help he feels could benefit the situation.  Take time, listen, and work for compromise, because frankly you’re probably not going to win an all out battle.

Crocs and Plovers

Of the problem couples, this one is probably the easiest to deal with.  The crocs all want their plovers with them, but often the plovers are pretty reasonable people.  They’re aware their just a small bird compared to the big crocodile.  It won’t make you feel good to ask them to sit out, and it may upset the crocodile, but in my experience the plovers have been completely reasonable and understanding.

The trick is to play on the fan-like relationship with the crocodile.  If you make it seem that the croc is suffering as a result of the plover’s attendance, the plover will frequently volunteer to step out.  You don’t have to be insidious of mean about it; you can mention the difficulty of the group caused by players in need of practice.  I tend to believe that most plovers know what they are, and will, if they’re interested in the game, work to get better, and if they’re not, get out of the way.

Grizzlies

This paradigm is, on its surface, the most difficult to deal with.  As Matticus described in his post that got this series started, Grizzlies charge in regardless of invitation when they feel their partner threatened.  To deal with situations like this, I’d suggest to simply play into it.  As mentioned above, the problem with addressing couples is frequently the 2 on 1 dynamic.  However, if you’re prepared for it, you can simply bring along support, as well.

However, before you set up a council hearing, you should gently find out if both of the partners want the other one there.  If not, then ask the “loner” of the two if they’d mind speaking in a private chat or vent channel.  This privacy can both ensure an uninterrupted conversation and send a clear signal to the grizzly that the conversation is not for them.

In true Grizzly couples, though, often the protection is mutual and wanted.  Simply schedule a meeting with both of them and let them know you’re bringing in another officer so they don’t feel blindsided or ambushed.  Have the conversation like a committee, then, once again being understanding but firm.  Always address whoever you’re actually talking to, and only respond to questions or comments from that partner, even if you have to overtly ask them for their opinion, as opposed to the Grizzly’s.  This can seem overly professional, cold even, but if the alternative is either getting ambushed by the grizzly or removing them both from the guild, then it’s clearly the most kind and fair of the options.

Angelfish

Angelfish are rarely a problem except under a very specific circumstance: you need one of them but don’t have a spot for both of them.  If this isn’t the case, frequently Angelfish will be happy to do their own things together elsewhere, giving up their spot(s) in the raid.  If you do find yourself in that circumstance, there’s pretty limited and unattractive options.  Grizzlies may seem the most dangerous and cats and dogs may be the most dangerous, but really, this one, unlikely situation is the most difficult.  In my experience (and I’d be happy to hear anyone who has a better solution), I’ve found that either someone else has to step out so the raid can go on or you have to beg, cajole, bribe, or guilt one of the two into coming and leaving the other one out.  Neither of these outcomes are desirable, but if the good of the raid is truly at stake, sometimes a raid leader has to get their hands – or dignity – a little dirty.

At any rate, dear reader, that concludes our series on couples and WoW.  I hope it’s been entertaining at least, and educational at best.  Coming up we’ll talk about juggling, a return to – of all things – level 85 pvp, and how bloggers -gasp- use words to mislead others or even themselves!

Sincerely, (or is it?)

Stubborn

You’re in for a special treat today.  An old friend of mine and I who’ve been in and out of contact over the past few years have recently rekindled our bromance (we rub beards) and have been playing Magic: The Gathering Online.  He’s got years on me, though, and when he suggested he write and article for my blog, I thought it was a fantastic idea.  Below you have the product of his ingenious but worm-riddled mind.  I hope you enjoy!

Magical Darwinism, Diamond Edition

My name is Rodney, and I’ve been playing Magic off and on since Revised.  This doesn’t mean that I’ve been good at it for any stage of my playing, it just means that I remember rage quitting a game because that stupid Gaea’s Liege kept turning all my lands to Forests.  I’ve come into this game three times, have left it twice, and am currently in my longest stint of continual playing/keeping up with the game that I’ve ever done.  While that may be interesting to me, I doubt that it is to you, so I will move into the two reasons that I’m writing this article.

When I came back into Magic for the third time, it was during Ravnica previews.  For those who perhaps weren’t playing Magic during this time, Ravnica is generally hailed as one of the all time best sets that Magic has ever had.  This was a great time to be coming back in, because dude.  Ravnica.  There are two things that I remember as being huge reasons I got back into this game.  The first reason was the first preview card I ever saw:  Watchwolf.  (Apologies to J. Sukenik92) The concept, the art, the stats…they blew what little hair I had at the time straight back.  If my linkage force is strong, there should be a link to the card somewhere around here…Watchwolf

Watchwolf

The second reason was an article series on dailymtg.com called Building on a Budget, as written by Jay Moldenhauer-Salazar.  His articles were, in my humble opinion, the pinnacle of Magic Writing on the intertron, and it was a sad day indeed when he chose to stop writing articles.  (On a side note, do you think it’s coincidence that Jay Moldenhauer-Salazar and Jace the Mind Sculptor have the same initials?   I don’t.)  I’ve not found anyone that has picked up his formula for writing articles and run successfully with it, and that saddens me.  I know that I have neither the deckbuilding chops nor the writing chops to write the articles that he could.  But.  I don’t see anyone else doing it, and I’ve very recently moved into playing on MTGO, so I have a newly minted chance to bring back a type of article that I’ve missed.  This article will be my attempting to replicate his formula.

From doing some rereading and analysis of Jay’s original article series, his basic formula (which strayed whenever he felt like there was a reason to stray) was as follows:

1)  Decklist

2)  Breakdown of decklist into various themes and how I think they work

3)  Play the deck with some real games.  Summarize, not turn by turn.

4)  Some general observations about how the games played, including feel or anything else that may be useful. What interactions are awesome?  What interactions are bad? What angles should be pushed?

5)  Put in 5 cards, take out 5 cards, and explain why for each one.

6)  New Decklist

7)  Back to step 3, following the guidelines listed below.

8)  Stop when the deck feels pretty good, or when tired of playing it.

This basic breakdown always gave the reader an idea into where in the process JMS was with his deckbuilding, as well as provided a young deckbuilder in myself a theoretical framework to start from in building my own decks.  Many concepts that are taken for granted by people who play Magic regularly were foreign to me at this time, and JMS always taught me something about the deckbuilding process.  While I don’t think that I’m going to be impressing anyone who plays on a competitive level with my mad deckbuilding skillz, I believe that I can build, tweak, and tune a decklist so that it’s, at a minimum, fun to play and doesn’t just die to every other deck out there.  Of course, since it was Building on a Budget, and I was on a pretty tight budget at that point, it helped in being able to look for different answers to deckbuilding questions, not just the most popular/expensive one.

The Guidelines:

1:  Start with a preconstructed deck and play it, unedited.

2:  Play it for a minimum of five games.

3:  Change no more than five cards at a time.

4:  Build a respectable deck that’s fun to play.

5:  Build an affordable deck.

My completely arbitrary numeric point will be 20 dollars.  I will spend 13 on the deck from the MTGO store, and then I will allow myself up to 7 dollars in tickets to tweak the deck.  Given how new I am to MTGO, this will also allow me to use my budget in a way that I think will be much more fun for me than just randomly surfing and buying new decks and cards.  Keep in mind that these are guidelines, not hard and fast rules.  Even JMS would break his rules from time to time in the interest of fun.

For my jumping in point, I’ve selected the Innistrad theme deck “Deathly Dominion.”  I do this for a couple of reasons.  I want a deck that has fairly obvious themes for the starter and I want a deck that I’ll enjoy playing.  Black/Green has always been a favorite of mine, so why not start with something right in my sweet spot.  Step 1 in the evolution is always to lay out the decklist and take note of themes, what the deck theoretically does well, what it theoretically needs help in, how the deck plays, and other issues of note for the deck.  So…here we go!

Deck List!  Deathly Dominion, Stock.

Lands

13Forest

11 Swamp

Creatures

1 Ambush Viper

1 Brain Weevil

2 Devouring Swarm

2 Disciple of Griselbrand

2 Festerhide Boar

2 Hollowhenge Scavenger

2 Lumberknot

1 Moldgraf Monstrosity

2 Morkrut Banshee

2 Reassembling Skeleton

1 Skirsdag High Priest

1 Somberwald Spider

1 Typhoid Rats

2 Warpath Ghoul

2WoodlandSleuth

 Artifacts

1 Demonmail Hauberk

 Enchantments

2 Dead Weight

 Instants

1 Altar’s Reap

1 Doom Blade

1 Naturalize

 Sorceries

2 Caravan Vigil

1 Make a Wish

1 Prey Upon

2 Rampant Growth

So, tapping my lip, I look upon these cards and I see a few themes.  The central theme of the piece seems to be the mechanic morbid.  At least, that’s what it says on the advertising.  I count twelve (12) cards with the morbid ability, which is used for various types of effects.  Morbid is an interesting and quite flavorful ability.  Anything with the keyword Morbid has an additional effect if it’s played on the same turn that a creature died.  The most common Morbid effect is to make the creature bigger.  Three creatures power up from something else dying seems a good way to both hit the theme and help the deck win.   Other morbid effects include a touch of life gain, a touch of recursion, a touch of token producing, and a touch of removal.  What I like about morbid as a mechanic, at least from the comfort of my extra large computer chair, is that it is a varied and versatile ability.  What do I want to use this extra life energy for?  I think I’ll (insert whatever effect).

The secondary theme to the deck is sacrifice.  Just like any good overlord, you choose when to let something else make the ultimate sacrifice in your deck.  Seven cards have the word “sacrifice” as part of a cost, meaning that it shouldn’t be terribly difficult to trigger Morbid at a time and place of your choosing.  (That, gentle Reader, is known as “Foreshadowing”) Of course, just sacrificing to sacrifice seems somewhat silly.  Extra cards, pumping an evasive threat, a touch more life gain…again with the varied abilities.  This concept ties in well from a flavor standpoint in that the deck plays like a dark overlord, sacrificing victims to power up other creatures, or to gain some type of advantage.  I think I’ll be mumbling “mwahahaha” an awful lot when I get this deck going.

Recursion (bringing back cards or other resources from the graveyard) is the tertiary theme that I see within the stock deck.  Woodland Sleuth, Make a Wish, Mr. Moldgraf Monstrosity, and Reassembling Skeleton all love to see things come back from the graveyard to where you can put them to good use.  I always prefer them to go back onto the battlefield, but free cards are free cards, and I’ll not pass up the chance to put them back into my hand.  At least, I won’t pass them up yet.

There are a couple of minor themes that I don’t feel like I have to spend much time on.  Green deck equals ramp (putting additional lands onto the battlefield), at least in a minor dose.  One thing that I have a habit of enjoying is a light splash (using a color that’s not primarily supported) in an otherwise two color deck, using the green ramp and selection to make it much easier for the splash to occur consistently.  Example time:  if I were to splash red into this deck, it would be just one or two cards that I feel are super powerful or needed in the deck, and I would use the ability of my green ramp to pull out the one or two mountains I would need to cast the spell.  The Rampant Growths in the deck let me select any land in my library, so I don’t have to worry about drawing the appropriate land at the appropriate time.  I can go get it if I need it.

Black kills creatures; green kills artifacts; and both colors can do it at instant speed.  Instant speed utility is always nice, and it plays into the major themes.  From my chair, I see a couple of cuts that I’d like to make already, but that’s not how this works!  First, I have to play some games to see how the deck runs!  Off to Just for Fun!

Game 1:  Green/black/blue/white Flare type deck.

My opponent has a pretty unique deck that I haven’t seen or heard about anywhere before.  His strategy is to play high impact creatures and to have a pseudo-combo finish with Parallel Lives and Spider Spawning.  Parallel Lives doubles the amount of tokens made when it’s out, and a lot of his deck had tokens involved, even the creatures that were already impactful.  Nice example of synergy.  He won the game (after around 12 turns of pretty fun, interactive magic) by playing a Wurmcoil Engine and reanimating a Sheoldred.  My puny 1/1’s were no match for the mighty masters of the universe that he was playing.  J

Game 2:  Blue-Green Proliferate/Infect

Long story short:  He gets an early couple of poison counters on me, then grinds out the win with a Contagion Clasp.  For the second game in a row, I prayed for the one x naturalize to come to me….it didn’t happen.  He had Necropedes and Glistener Elves.  I had Reassembling Skeleton, and a Lumberknot showed up to do some campaigning with the kids.  But for the second out of two games, I had issues getting out the second forest that I needed.  It would stand to reason that the reverse would be true, since I have more forests than swamps.  But nope!  Also of note here is that I have yet to even draw a way to sacrifice.  I’ve had a Banshee in hand both games and couldn’t activate the morbid to kill something.

Game 3:  Blue White weenie control?

I finally drew more than one forest in my open, good sign!  He leads on Plains, I play forest.  He says Alabaster Mage, I say Reassembling Skeleton (hereon known as Skeletor, the Younger Years Edition).  He drops an island, makes a phantasmal bear, and swings.  I block with Skeletor the Younger, then reply with Dead Weight on the Mage.  He swings with the bear, I EOT Skeletor back to the field, then drop both a Typhoid Rats and Disciple of Griselbrand.  He plays a Benalish Veteran, I come back with a Demonskin Hauberk, immediately equipping to my Typhoid Rats via Skeletor’s brave and noble sacrifice.  He brings out Gideon’s Lawkeeper, which threatens to ruin my ginormous rat strategy.  I Make a Wish, returning both Dead Weight and Skeletor to my hand, then make the Lawkeeper Dead Weight.  Budget cuts, you know.  I eventually win this game, after playing creatures and swinging.

One notable sequence was when he Mind Controlled my Warpath Ghoul, then I Naturalized to get it back.  I could have played it better by either sacrificing the Ghoul out from under the Mind Control, or by waiting for my opponent to untap before Naturalizing.  Of course, I figured out both plays 3 seconds after clicking ok.   Maybe this article will make me get better at this game.

Game 4:  Nothing to see here.

Run over promptly by a dude playing UW hexproof/I can’t target those creatues.  Geist, stalker, pike, war and peace.   12 points of power swinging on turn 4 means I die quick.  Nothing to see, move along.

Game 5:  Burning Vengance deck

Strangely, I didn’t feel like I was ever really out of this game until he stuck a Charmbreaker Devils.  Then, the recurring spells were a bit much for me.  He did get out the namesake of his deck, and I was a little frightened, but then I remembered that I had a Naturalize in my hand, and, well….got his enchantment closer to nature.  Skeletor’s ability to be a general annoyance was wonderful here, as there were several times that a 12/4 Charmbreaker was coming in, but since there was no trample to be found, Skeletor took a (He-)Manly punch for me instead.  Seemed like a fun deck, and not one that I think my deck auto loses to.  The world for an Altar’s Reap to turn on my Banshee’s….any thing for a sacrifice outlet.

Okay, so that was five games.  What I noticed was what was obvious, inconsistent deck is inconsistent.  Either I drew a high number of morbid cards, or I drew several ways to sacrifice creatures, but never the two and never at the same time.  Also, for a black deck, I certainly seemed to have a hard time removing problematic creatures that I could target.  Game 4…well…nothing to see, move along.  So, what types of changes do I want to make?  Well, that’s going to depend heavily on what themes I want to play up.  Morbid is a lot of fun, thematically awesome, and right in the colors.  It is, however, a sorcery speed ability.  Given how much of standard right now leans towards instant speed and high pressure aggro, I have reservations against pushing a theme that keeps me at sorcery speed.  But it is a huge reason that I picked up the deck in the first place, so morbid it is!  Besides, this first round of cuts is going to be aimed at consistency, not at theme.  Make deck play better!

+2 Altars Reap = $0.06

+2 Doom Blades = $0.06

+1 Ambush Viper= $0.03

-2 Warpath Ghoul

-1 Moldgraf Monstrosity

-1 Prey Upon

-1 D. Swarm

So, why did I do what I did?

OUT

-1 Prey Upon:  If I’m in green/black, I have much better options for kill spells.  If they can be targeted, Doom Blade and Go for the Throat do a much better job of killing it dead than Prey Upon, which is too reliant on other green things being around.  Not interested in playing a strictly inferior card.  Now, if I was going mono green ramp and big monsters…that would be different.

-1 Moldgraf Monstrosity:  Why would I get rid of the biggest creature?  The biggest source of creatures back onto the battlefield, not even to my hand?!?!?!  Well, the triple forest was a source of concern for me, given that five games have shown me an issue with getting out the appropriate mana.  Maybe the Altar Reaps will help with the card draw (and by maybe, I mean they should) and I’ll be able to bring him back in when I’m thinking about how I’ll actually win games.  But right now, there’s more of a need for me to be able to draw cards, activate morbid, and get to a point where the extra cards and recursion can do something for me.  Definitely something to keep in the back of the head.

-1 Devouring Swarm:  Three mana, two of which is colored, for an evasive threat that I can use to kill my plentiful creatues (sacrifice!) for a +1/+1.  I’d rather find other, better effects to get out of my sacrifice outlets than +1′s.

-2 Warpath Ghoul:  Fairly efficient, good beater, but boring and doesn’t fit into any theme that I wanted to have.  I hate that I’ve now murdered my my mana curve, but we’ll see if we can’t address that at some point.

IN

+2 Altars Reap:  Morbid does me no good if I can’t trigger it on a whim.  Altars Reap can be used in response to all kinds of nasty effects (burn, kills, bounce, whatever), provides gas for the massive bonfire (bic lighter) that is my deck, and lets me play a little more at instant speed.

+2 Doom Blade:  Kill spell kills creatures.  I like killing creatures.  And I follow this guy on Twitter, so seems like a good place to get him in.

+1 Ambush Viper:  Hexproof seems like it’s going to be an issue for me.  I don’t have any edict effects (yet) and until I hit the “late” game, my creatures tend to have one power, which doesn’t do me tons of good against Geist of St. Traft.  Green’s Doom Blade seems like an inclusion that I’ll be happy to use.  Also, the instant speed is again a huge plus in a deck that is built around a mechanic that stays sorcery speed.

Deck List, Version 1.1

Lands

13Forest

11 Swamp

Creatures

2 Ambust Viper

1 Brain Weevil

1 Devouring Swarm

2 Disciple of Griselbrand

2 Festerhide Boar

2 Hollowhenge Scavengers

2 Lumberknot

2 Morkrut Banshee

2 Reassembling Skeleton

1 Skirsdag High Priest

1 Somberwalk Spider

1 Typhoid Rats

2WoodlandSleuth

Artifacts

1 Demonmail Hauberk

Enchantments

2 Dead Weight

Instants

3 Altar’s Reap

3 Doom Blade

1 Naturalize

Sorceries

2 Caravan Vigil

1 Make a Wish

2 Rampant Growth

So, taking another look at my deck, I like the change, theoretically.  Speeding up my options, giving myself a little more card draw that fits the theme, more kill spells should all help me defend myself a little better.  However, my three slot on ye ol’ mana curve has only one Devouring Swarm holding it down.  I’m also not sure how I’ll actually get to the point that I start to win the game.  I’m thinking that it’s going to be either Hauberk equipped onto whatever or 4/4 Banshees and 4/5 Scavengers randomly beating down.  I haven’t drawn the High Priest in a position to use him yet, so I’ll let him go on a round of cuts.

I hope that this trip downDeckbuilding Lanehas been informative, entertaining, and interesting.  My main point of authoring these posts is to let me write and try to improve as a Magic player.  That I get to interact on a more regular with Stubborn and that I get to pay homage to one of the best Magic article series of all time are twin cherries on this sundae of awesome.  If you enjoyed this type of post and would like to see more like it, let Stubborn know!  I’ve certainly enjoyed writing it and, who knows?  Maybe I’ll see one or two of you on MTGO?

Thanks for reading!

Rodney

E-mail:  ThatGuyRodneyAThotmailDOTcom

Phone:  1-900-MIXALOT

P.S.  (Or: My God, Hasn’t This Gone On Long Enough?!)

My burning question is: how much detail goes into a good game recap?  Do people prefer the complete turn by turn breakdown or the key points?  I’ve tried a range of level of details in this article, to mine precisely that feedback.  Also, any other feedback (voice, tone, what you liked/didn’t like) is always welcome.  Please understand that constructive criticism is welcomed…the other type is not.  I know asking the internet to be gentle is spitting in the wind…but please.  Be gentle. 

Tellah

Today, we’ll finish looking at the six couple paradigms and discussing their effect on end-game play.

Crocs and Plovers

This type of relationship is symbiotic but not in any way balanced. This was the hardest metaphor for me to work with, and I’ll go ahead and tell you the term on the other site is “Fans and Idols.” I chose these animals because the relationship only works while both are fulfilling their role. One is the big, strong crocodile killing its prey and providing for the plover, and the little bird is living entirely off the croc’s behalf while providing a small service in return. As soon as the plover gets bored of putting up with the croc’s dirty teeth, the relationship dissolves.

In end-game WoW, we can see this behavior as fandom. In more casual raid groups (or poorly managed hardcore ones), we occasionally have plovers that only get to come because of the crocs. The plovers might be perfectly nice people, but they are raiding on the ability of their partner. Once either loses interest, both vanish.

I’ve seen a lot of these, too. People’s mothers (how can you say “No, Mom, you can’t come raid with us?” I was once asked. I didn’t have a response.), kids, husbands and wives alike have a special place in our hearts and, unfortunately, in guild raids, too.  I’ve really enjoyed some of the times I’ve spent with some of the plovers doing “fun” guild activities like retro raiding, messy bgs, or achievement hunting, but the fact of the matter is that in true end-game high-stakes activities, everyone needs to pull their weight.  Plovers simply don’t have a place there.

Grizzly Bears

Grizzlies are famous for being fiercely protective of their young.  Thanks to the American TV sensation Sarah Palin (who I will not call a politician because it would be like calling the Hamburgler a master criminal), we even have the term “Grizzly Moms” to bounce around.  In couples, Grizzlies thrive on their self-independence, and any threat to their dyad is met with vicious attacks.  These couples work well because their independence is so highly dependent on each other, and their insular nature makes them close, even intimate.  The only real threat to their relationship can come from the outside.

This type of couple is what Matticus described in his post; when one in the couple is threatened, the other charges in, stands up on their hind legs, bares their teeth, and roars in fury.  It can be somewhat unsettling.  Obviously, dealing with either one of the couple implies dealing with both, and that can mean a 2 on 1 meeting that devolves into defensive attacks from the pair while you simply try to make your point.  If both of the pair are performing well, then you wouldn’t necessarily even know the difference between Grizzlies and, say, Penguins, but when they’re not, you’re in for a hell of a fight.

I would bet that most of us have run into this kind of couple before, and lord knows in my past I was a bit of a grizzly myself.  I believe I’ve since learned my lesson, and since my wife does a lot of research and uses Internet tools and practices her game play on her own, I don’t really need to worry too much about criticism.  The only time she’s been criticized recently was by another healer who claimed she wasn’t pulling her weight, but when we compared recounts, our numbers were starkly different, and since it was a Shannox fight and she was healing me, the off tank, we spent a lot of time far away from the raid.  That’s the only assumption I could find that would explain such different numbers, but the other healer accepted it and backed off.  I didn’t attack; I simply provided numbers.

On the other hand, my somewhat notorious guild leader and her husband are a bit grizzly-ish.  When I’ve approached her about a particular issue and ask to speak to her in private, he frequently pops in if it’s a “guild” issue and not a personal one.  I assume he’s asking her on their end if he can pop in, and she’s saying sure if it’s not something that I clearly want to keep from him; usually I speak to her in private so as not to embarrass others in the raid who need some guidance.  On the few occasions I’ve been talking to her about her, he’s come in and defended her, turning the discussion into an argument about management, and it was in one such discussion that I was basically accused of taking over raids and not letting her do her job.  This was after a night when she’d pushed to do Zon’ozz and I’d done research that suggested Yor’sahj was easier.  The raid voiced agreement that they wanted to do the ooze boss, and she’d gotten upset but agreed.  Afterward, in speaking to her, he hopped up and accused me of a coup, so after that I basically stayed out of all raid decisions, and, shortly later, stayed out of raiding.  I got mauled by a Grizzly; I needed some time to recover (though mauled is a gross over-exaggeration for narrative effect.  He was mostly polite but firm, and he didn’t let me make my points by forcing the conversation to be about me rather than anything else.).

Angelfish

Angelfish couples work well together; they hunt, raise their young, and defend their territory as a mated pair for life.  They have similar interests, cooperate well, enjoy each other’s company, and don’t  mind just spending time together.  They’re a very stable relationship, so stable, in fact, that it can sometimes hinder their personal growth.  Because they’re so content just being in each others’ company and hanging about, they don’t push themselves much to go out and try new things, eventually falling into predictable patterns of behavior that can grind their ambitions to a standstill.  Of course, that’s not really a big deal because they’re happy together.

In WoW, these couples don’t cause many waves.  The main difference between penguins and angelfish is that angelfish are a unit.  Unlike penguins, they don’t pursue their own activities and would not be willing to do things separately.  This isn’t necessarily a problem, because if they both play well, then they can both raid without complaint, or if one can’t raid but you’ve got a replacement, the other will step out without much fuss; they’re main desire is simply togetherness.  However, there are times when you want or need one and not the other, and then you might be in for a mess.

I have certainly seen this couple, too.  In my David and Goliath story, Goliath and his wife were angelfish.  They were solid raiders, too, when they chose to come with us.  You’d never catch one playing without the other, and it would be unthinkable to take one without the other on a raid.  Since we were doing 25 man Gruul at that point, there were plenty of spots, and since they were both good raiders (he was the mage tank for Krosh Firehand on the High Council, and he did a damn good job of it, even if he was a bully, and she was a bear tank that tanked with, of all people, me, on the warlock), we didn’t run into problems.  However, since Goliath hated me and angelfish hunt together, the wife made life a living hell for my buddy, then guild leader.  In the end, that’s what broke him and began the long descent to hating WoW.

So, dear reader, here are the six types of couples and their effect on end game.  On Friday, I’ve got a surprise for you – a guest correspondence from an old friend of mine.  He’s been playing Magic: The Gathering Online and has taken a strong liking to it.  He’ll tell you more on Friday.  On Monday, we’ll finish the last correspondence in this series with tips on how to deal with each type of couple.  See you then!

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and upset he couldn’t use “Bulls” as a couple type.  Grizzlies was just too appropo.)

Patriots and Propaganda

“The Diplomatic Service is seeking patriotic travelers to spread word of the Empire’s superior way of life around the galaxy. Have your companion help put the Empire’s best foot forward.”

When she completed it to see what would happen,

“Tharan Cedrax’s unique brand of charisma caught the interest of a number colonial interest groups who seem willing to give life in the Empire a chance.”

+50 lightside points

GOOD TO KNOW WHO THE GOOD GUYS REALLY ARE.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and chuckling)

Today, we’ll look at six typical couple patterns and discuss their affect on WoW’s end-game.  Since the best test of what pattern a relationship takes is when it’s stressed, end-game play frequently provides opportunities for guildies to observe couples at their barest (well, perhaps barest isn’t the best word choice).

I dug and dug to find a definitive list of couple types, but pairing “couples” and “psychology” bore mostly sites about couples therapy.  ”Relationship” with words like “types,” “patterns,” or “paradigms” similarly produced little.  In the end, I chose to adapt a list I found from a blog called Woman and Home, which asks you to “like” it to see the site.  If you wish to view the contents to see them unaltered, just reload and the annoying box goes away.

Mostly, my adaptations were to find animals that I felt metaphorically fit the paradigm so that they could be more easily discussed.  Some of my metaphors, I’m sure, are flawed, but I’m not writing a psychological treatise here, just discussing WoW end game.  For each, I’ll explain the couple type, how they can affect guild end-game activities, and tell a story or two about my experiences with these kinds of couples; we’ll look at three paradigms today and three in our next correspondence.  Last, we’ll look more in-depth into how to handle each type if you’re in a position where you’d need to.

Cats and Dogs

Cats and dogs are couples that exist in a cycle of conflict.  It’s hard for people on the outside to understand, but they actually enjoy the fighting.  They nag, berate, bicker, and nitpick, but then they make up and are passionate again, until their passion turns back to fighting.

These couples can be difficult to deal with end game because often their fighting takes place in the public forum.  Whether in Vent, guild chat, or in character through /say commands, this couple can be a huge distraction to raiding.  If one dies on a pull (most of my examples will be PvE, due to my activities, but all are equally applicable to PvP end game), the other might fill Vent with accusations or criticism when what was needed was the raid leader deciding how (or if) to proceed.  Alternatively, they can appear to show major guild disagreement to new recruits who don’t understand that they are a couple or that their behavior is normal.  Worse than that, they can actually factionalize a guild when their misunderstanding – which they will privately resolve – goes unresolved in the public forum.

Way back in my first guild, Inner Sanctum, we had a Cats and Dogs couple.  They bickered, blamed, and name-called (particularly, calling each other “stupid” – and meaning it – frequently).  They had kids which is, I assume, why they stayed together, but it was clear that the kids were always her responsibility, which came out during raids because he was dps and she a healer, but when the kids were a problem, she went afk, even though it would have been much easier to progress missing a dps.

It got worse when the dude was drunk, and he was publicly emotionally abusive at times.  It became clear their marriage was dissolving, and one of my friends in the guild took it upon himself to comfort the lady at times, which of course only led to more problems.  Eventually, they vanished from WoW, and I haven’t a clue what became of them.

Penguins

Penguin couples are very tight-knit.  They switch roles as care-giver and care-needer, they work well together, but they are also comfortable as individuals.  They epitomize the “give and take” of relationships.  Penguins can seem disconnected from one another or even aloof towards the relationship (as when real penguins spend months apart at different tasks), but they are committed and simply comfortable being apart.

This can be an ideal end-game couple.  They are happy to play together when the raid composition allows, but don’t get upset when they cannot play together.  The other can simply pursue other interests while simply enjoying the company (and parallel play).  Raid and guild leaders can also feel more comfortable about having both in their guild, because it’s unlikely that either would have been “forced” (or “strongly encouraged through passive means like begging or whining”) to play the game, which often means poor performance and eventual disappearance from boredom.  Even if this couple may or may not be “ideal” in the real world (though it sounds pretty good to me, if occasionally a little chilly), they are probably the most ideal couple pattern for guild management.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve ever had the opportunity to play with this type of couple.  It may be that I did, but didn’t realize that they were a couple, or that I’ve had one partner but not the other, but I would suggest that the often maniacal zealotry that WoW and end-game raiding sometimes produce are the polar opposite of what this couple is attracted to.  That’s not to say that no couples like this play WoW, just that they might be hard to spot in the rest of the mess.

Wolves

Despite the initial reaction to the idea of wolves, this animal’s metaphor was chosen due to the caring nature of wolves within their pack.  Wolves, despite their “vicious” stereotype, are one of the mammals that are the kindest to their old, their young, and their ill.  Wolves have been reported to share food with the weakest first, before the rest of the pack moves in.  I don’t know if it’s true; I’m no lycanologist, but it sure fits well here.  This relationship pattern is all about helping the weak.  The dominant partner acts as caregiver for the weak partner, which provides the dominant partner with purpose and achievement, while the “weaker” partner (which could be real or imagined) gets care provided and has things easier.

I have seen this relationship too many times in my game-playing days.  The stereotypical and sexist term “DM’s Girlfriend” was thrust upon me early in my D&D days.  The term implies favoritism of the shallowest kind, making sure loot drops are for the partner’s (and DM’s partner is surely a more appropriate term, if still cruel), the encounters play to the partner’s strengths, and monsters never seem to notice or want to attack the partner.  In my own games, if anything, I was harder on my then-girlfriend-eventually-wife because I knew she was a strong player and would enjoy the challenge. Still, that didn’t stop the term from being bandied about.

As for WoW, we’ve all seen couples where one is constantly justifying the performance of the other, or lobbying for loot, or making sure there’s a position for their partner.  There may be many reasonable causes for this behavior, such as shyness in one causing them to be repeatedly overlooked, but in the end, it often creates a “learned helplessness” in the “weaker” of the two.  I’ve had too many experiences to specifically name any one of them as they’ve all sort of melted together in time, but I can specifically remember being begged over vent to let someone into a raid we’d filled.  The player’s boyfriend had showed up late, was a mediocre performer, and frequently had to leave early (for work, so perfectly legitimate, but still causing a problem).  I don’t think I’d ever been truly begged before, and it made me very uncomfortable.  I said no, of course, and the other player “understood” (meaning was mad all night about it but got over it pretty quickly), but it stuck with me because I never wanted to be in that position again.  Whether avoiding those types of couples or the role of raid leader, I didn’t want to re-experience that moment.

Well, dear Reader, this has certainly gone on longer than I thought.  One piece of blog advice I got early on was to aim for 500-1000 words, so since we’re already at almost 1400, I think I’ll split this into two posts.  Next time, we’ll examine Crocs and Plovers, Grizzlies, and Angelfish couples.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (and hoping I’m a penguin)

Matticus recently had an entertaining post on dealing with couples in his raid team.  I think many of us have been in similar situations (his ability to connect with reader experiences is one of his strongest writing traits, in fact), but I noted at the end he mentioned that he played with other couples and hadn’t had any problems with them.

It made me think about the various couple encounters I’ve had, some of the posts that have been written about playing with friends and lovers, and the effect that the game has on people.  From that end, I’ve come up with a short series of posts on couples and WoW.  Today, we’ll start with some “couples advice” that’s widely available on the Internet and how to adapt it to the game.  Next time, we’ll look at some relationship paradigms and how they can affect guilds, and finally we’ll look at some advice on how to deal with various couple paradigms.

The following list is a commonplace set of advice available for happy coupling.  Of course, no one list can possibly encompass everything couples do to make it work, but I felt that this list was comprehensive, sweet, and focused more on positive behaviors than negative.  It’s taken from an online article published on Psychology Today’s website.

1. Go to bed at the same time
This is really simple to adapt to the game; play at the same time.  The tip refers more to lovemaking, but playmaking is just as important in maintaining a relationship (though it doesn’t always feel that way).  Do things together in WoW, even if it’s just achievement hunting or leveling alts.  Maybe you can’t both be in the top-tier raid team, but you can farm together, do random bgs, or just clear old dungeons for fun.  Play strengthens many relationship foundations like trust, compassion, and amusement.

2. Cultivate common interests
WoW doesn’t just fit this tip, WoW is this tip.  Having a common interest to talk about, spend time doing, and create an exclusive “us” club about helps strengthen the bonds and borders of your relationship.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
Another one that fits well with WoW.  Play near each other, whether it’s laptops on the kitchen table, side by side on the sofa, or across from each other on the computer desk.  Positive fiero moments are about physicality: high fives, hugs, butt-slaps, and they’re less likely if you have to go to another room or upstairs first.  I love when my wife and I do something awesome and spontaneously high-five across our desk.  These moments of touch mean a lot, so make them possible with proximity.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
This can be incredibly hard with high-stakes gameplay, but you should always be able to forgive your partner for making game mistakes and trust that they’ll improve.  It can be hard at times, especially when one partner is a more advanced player due to experience, practice, or gear, but it must be your default mode or eventually someone’s going to want to stop playing.  I’ve been guilty of breaking this rule before, and it hurts to know that not only did I make my wife feel bad about something, but I also stole some of her personal joy from playing the game.  It’s crucial to learn this early and practice it often, or you won’t have a game to play at all.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
Going right along with the previous tip, make sure to let each other know that you’ve seen and acknowledged their successes.  Proximity helps with this, as spontaneous shout outs about awesomeness can mean a lot, but even post-event discussions about how you noticed that she was dpsing really well or he was healing really well can mean a lot.  It’s harder when the event goes poorly (raiding or bgs or whatnot), but it’s even more important then.  Letting your partner know that her tranquility at precisely the right moment could have turned the fight around positively reinforces that behavior, improving both the relationship and future attempts.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Fiero all over again.  Let your partner know you enjoy playing with them regardless of what you do or how it goes.  Hug them after a raid, after a bg, or when you’re done.  Let them know that you’re glad you’re playing together and would not want to play alone.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
Even in game, greetings and character emotes can mean a lot.  I love /pinching or /hugging my wife’s toon.  I insist that our toons are married, but she protests that they don’t even really know each other, being different races, so the play continues (Seriously, why wouldn’t a blood-elf paladin want to marry a Tauren druid?  Shapechanging is sexually FTW!  Interpret that as you will).  Either way, playing lovingly in game makes playing lovingly out of game that much more likely, as it provides practice, precedent, and helps to break down emotional barriers that might prevent that kind of affectionate displays.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
Similar to the previous comment, letting your partner know each and every session that you enjoyed playing with them can be really crucial to your relationship.  When things go poorly and no one says anything, volumes can be misinterpreted from that silence.  It’s important to let your partner know how much you enjoy your play time so that you’ll have more of it in the future.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Communicating during events is important for everyone involved, but more so for partners.  If I’m having  a hard time tanking or dpsing, I always let her know so that she can respond in kind.  It may be with comfort, tips, or agreement, but letting her know I’m having a hard time brings her into the communications about solving it.  Similarly, since my wife heals, we have a great communication system sans technology where she can tell me to blow cooldowns, move out of things that I’m standing in (it happens rarely, but sometimes), or to take it easy because she’s fine.  These little “weather checks” enable better game play and better emotional response.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
You should enjoy bringing your partner along (or being brought along) to events, whether it’s raiding or anything else.  You should avoid environments that make you feel bad about your partner’s progress, or make them feel bad about yours.  If you’re in such a negative environment, it will eventually infect your relationship with division.  You might start to want your partner to sit out or improve but not be able to communicate it without hurting feelings.  You may start to want to play alone.  Avoid those circumstances by avoiding the environments that would propagate them.  Play with your partner conspicuously where everyone can see, because that shows your love and trust.

At any rate, that’s the first installment of Couples Therapy for WoW.  It functions best when you value your relationship more than the game, because if you don’t, no trite list on a blog is going to help you.

In our next installment, we’ll look at various couple paradigms and how they affect end game in WoW.  Besides just the Overprotective Vultures, the paradigm that Matticus describes, we’ll look at a variety of patterns, and perhaps even see ourselves in there, somewhere.

Sincerely,

Stubborn (too bull-headed to be a vulture).